I used to think my success was measured by how much stuff I could accumulate, how much stock I purchased, how much I had in the bank, etc.
Then, I ended up on disability. My measures of success drastically changed. Now I see success as being measured by the amount of true friends I have, and those who have stuck by me through my poverty and depression.
My success is no longer measured by how much money I make at a job, or job titles, promotions, raises. It's now measured by charitable acts, giving when I don't have enough for my needs, which ironically always get supplied just in time, how many smiles I recieve because I give them. Success is measured now by loving someone in spite of the way they treat me, looking deeply into their spirit and begging God to show me why they do what they do, so I can appreciate them for who they are and love them where they are at. Success is how many times I apologize when I do something to hurt someone, intentionally or not and when I choose not to get angry and lash out at someone who has hurt me, and instead turn inward and pray a blessing for that person, and for healing-because they are hurting. Perhaps from something as deep and old as a childhood emotional wound.
I measure success now by how much I value the person I like least, for the person we like least is how much we value and appreciate God. Success is making mistakes and not beating myself up over them, but accepting the fact I'm human and prone to do human things; Changing the things I can, and growing from the sins of the past. Success is sharing me, and allowing others to share themselves with me. Quite the challenge for someone who has been and still is afraid of people, afraid of getting hurt. It's seeing the glorious wonder of creation everywhere, including within myself, showing my love for God by living my life as close to the Christian faith as my humanness will allow. Knowing full well there will be people who will not accept this and try to change me, and still live courageously for the God I would die for.
Success is now wanting to be alive. Success is facing each day as an adventure and a challenge to be my whacky, goofy self and bring healing and hope to someone's soul.
I used to lament that I could not do the things Mother Theresa did when she was alive. I couldn't see myself picking maggots out of someone's torso who was near death, and not getting angry and even lashing out at those who chose to walk by and not assist another human in trouble, long before they got to that stage of near death. After much prayer over this, I felt God show me that indeed I do have a gift of compassion, a different kind but no less needed. It's a gift of hope, bringing hope to the people who are hopeless, feeding those who are hungry for attention and love, clothing those who are naked-without self esteem-by ministering a kindly word and building them up. Setting free the captives, who are chained by unlove and mistrust the world hands out.
My treasure is how much I can give another person emotionally, for if I don't, then I have robbed myself of something glorious. When something so priceless is found, it should be taken care of, polished with words of encouragement, hugs, touches and love-so it can shine brightly. If it's not taken care of, it may become so full of corrosion to be worthless. And if this master work of art is found in another human being and not taken care of, thus left to destruction-I have been robbed. When people see their value and worth, they become more and more priceless-and if I should not encourage that gem to shine, then I have lost something. If a storehouse of treasure walks off from me,(for indeed every single person contains a storehouse of many treasures-gifts to be shared with the community) I am in poverty-for I need that gift of God, desparately, and perhaps not I so much, but some facet of the world would need that gift. Therefore I have robbed the world of something glorious.
Success is integrity-standing my ground on issues which uphold the dignity and equality of the human person and even tenants of the faith which I hold so dear to my heart, no matter who or what they are or who opposes me. I still may turn inward for a time amidst persecution, but I will eventually come out fighting-not with harsh words, but with love and mercy.
The greatest wealth I have is in my friends who allow me to encourage them and accept what I have to offer. So I am rich, filthy rich. When I die, I shall be surrounded by wealth so large, the building will not be able to contain it. At least, that is my great hope, that even in my so human and sin-filled state, I should bring out such an amount of good in others that they would travel far and wide to say a final goodbye, and most of all carry on this great ministry of love. I don't plan on going anywhere soon, just reflecting on the future. I will be around for quite awhile yet, I imagine-there is much work to be done.
Then, I ended up on disability. My measures of success drastically changed. Now I see success as being measured by the amount of true friends I have, and those who have stuck by me through my poverty and depression.
My success is no longer measured by how much money I make at a job, or job titles, promotions, raises. It's now measured by charitable acts, giving when I don't have enough for my needs, which ironically always get supplied just in time, how many smiles I recieve because I give them. Success is measured now by loving someone in spite of the way they treat me, looking deeply into their spirit and begging God to show me why they do what they do, so I can appreciate them for who they are and love them where they are at. Success is how many times I apologize when I do something to hurt someone, intentionally or not and when I choose not to get angry and lash out at someone who has hurt me, and instead turn inward and pray a blessing for that person, and for healing-because they are hurting. Perhaps from something as deep and old as a childhood emotional wound.
I measure success now by how much I value the person I like least, for the person we like least is how much we value and appreciate God. Success is making mistakes and not beating myself up over them, but accepting the fact I'm human and prone to do human things; Changing the things I can, and growing from the sins of the past. Success is sharing me, and allowing others to share themselves with me. Quite the challenge for someone who has been and still is afraid of people, afraid of getting hurt. It's seeing the glorious wonder of creation everywhere, including within myself, showing my love for God by living my life as close to the Christian faith as my humanness will allow. Knowing full well there will be people who will not accept this and try to change me, and still live courageously for the God I would die for.
Success is now wanting to be alive. Success is facing each day as an adventure and a challenge to be my whacky, goofy self and bring healing and hope to someone's soul.
I used to lament that I could not do the things Mother Theresa did when she was alive. I couldn't see myself picking maggots out of someone's torso who was near death, and not getting angry and even lashing out at those who chose to walk by and not assist another human in trouble, long before they got to that stage of near death. After much prayer over this, I felt God show me that indeed I do have a gift of compassion, a different kind but no less needed. It's a gift of hope, bringing hope to the people who are hopeless, feeding those who are hungry for attention and love, clothing those who are naked-without self esteem-by ministering a kindly word and building them up. Setting free the captives, who are chained by unlove and mistrust the world hands out.
My treasure is how much I can give another person emotionally, for if I don't, then I have robbed myself of something glorious. When something so priceless is found, it should be taken care of, polished with words of encouragement, hugs, touches and love-so it can shine brightly. If it's not taken care of, it may become so full of corrosion to be worthless. And if this master work of art is found in another human being and not taken care of, thus left to destruction-I have been robbed. When people see their value and worth, they become more and more priceless-and if I should not encourage that gem to shine, then I have lost something. If a storehouse of treasure walks off from me,(for indeed every single person contains a storehouse of many treasures-gifts to be shared with the community) I am in poverty-for I need that gift of God, desparately, and perhaps not I so much, but some facet of the world would need that gift. Therefore I have robbed the world of something glorious.
Success is integrity-standing my ground on issues which uphold the dignity and equality of the human person and even tenants of the faith which I hold so dear to my heart, no matter who or what they are or who opposes me. I still may turn inward for a time amidst persecution, but I will eventually come out fighting-not with harsh words, but with love and mercy.
The greatest wealth I have is in my friends who allow me to encourage them and accept what I have to offer. So I am rich, filthy rich. When I die, I shall be surrounded by wealth so large, the building will not be able to contain it. At least, that is my great hope, that even in my so human and sin-filled state, I should bring out such an amount of good in others that they would travel far and wide to say a final goodbye, and most of all carry on this great ministry of love. I don't plan on going anywhere soon, just reflecting on the future. I will be around for quite awhile yet, I imagine-there is much work to be done.
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